From Metal to Spirit…
June 2, 2007
I step into the templeroom, immediately enveloped by fragrant smoke from the fire sacrifice. And there They are: Chota Gaura Nitai. Lord Chaitanya and Lord Nityananda are dressed all in white, cloths covering Their eyes… but not Their smiles. The priest chants Vedic mantras while Kalindi sings an entrancing kirtan. I gaze at Gaura Nitai through the flames of the fire, captivated by Their forms.
Then Kalindi turns around to grin at me, her gorgeous eyes glinting. “You’re next,” she mouths. I laugh and scoot forward to join her. When I start another kirtan, I meditate on what’s going on, right now. Here I am, witnessing the instillation of these fascinating Deities. Thank you, Gaura Nitai, for allowing me to serve You.
Summer adventures have officially begun.
He’s Still Here. [Day 2.1]
May 4, 2007
We rush about, groggily gulping down oatmeal and mumbling tilak mantras. We still only make it out the door in time for the actual program to start, missing our chance to chanta japa with Maharaj. But when we reach Jyothika’s, we find the street and the house quiet. No, seriously, the three of us are the only ones here.
Hm, odd.
But in the living room, I spy the harmonium and Rupa and I decide to sing. My voice goes extra deep and feels husky from the early morning. Rupa plays simple mridanga, and it’s just the two of us. I close my eyes. I sing Guruvastakam, the morning melody immersing me in stillness.
Slowly, people gather. And after some time, Maharaj finally comes down. I end the soft bhajan as soon as he takes his seat. Last night after I had picked up the mridanga, I was so absorbed in playing it that I hadn’t fully soaked in Indradyumna Swami’s special melody for Jaya Radha Madhava. And so now as he begins to sing, tingles sweep across my skin.
I pick up a pair of kartals and absorb myself in the melody. Last year when Maharaj visited Alachua, I was about to leave the templeroom but then froze when he began to sing. I feel that way now, too.
For breakfast, Rupa, Nama, and I sit within sight of Maharaj and discuss the youth in Alachua and ISKCON. In this quiet mid-morning, we laugh and practically shout out our jokes. Maharaj is still sitting where he was for class, chanting his japa intently with eyes closed. Suddenly he snaps them open and commands the three of us.
“There is time for this later. Come, chant japa with me,”
Hushed immediately, we fetch our japa bags semi-sheepishly. We settle around him, but then he commands again, “Face me.”
We do. And in the current and wave of chanting, with Maharaj as my anchor, I taste each syllable of the maha-mantra for the first time in months. I meditate deeper and deeper, as if drinking deeper and deeper.
When Maharaj gets up to finally take some breakfast, the others disperse. I stay, transfixed. He’s still here, I murmur to myself, my hair standing on end. Even though he’s gone… I’m going to keep chanting. My mind turns to my own guru maharaj, Radhanath Swami, and how most of my life he’s not here. And yet… he’s here.
Suddenly I make the connection that you are my inspiration… my map, my compass… but I must captain my own ship. Guru is my guide… and now it’s my turn to rise to the challenge.
When I finish chanting, I feel quiet. For once, I laugh to myself, I’m quiet.
The Adventure Begins… [Day 1.1]
April 22, 2007
March 13th, Tuesday
You may feel as if you are standing at the edge of something new. You could, in fact, begin a most exciting venture now, for you have a good feeling about what is happening and you are ready to play your part. Be as adventurous as you wish. It’s time to live outside the constraints of negativity and have yourself some fun. – Aries Horoscope, March 8th, 2007
I feel like a sardine, I grumble to myself. Five us are crammed into my car, and the three tallest – including me – are in the back. We’ve been driving for five hours, and I’m tottering on this maddening edge of exhaustion, the sun baking my back. Oh yeah, and I have mountains of schoolwork due the DAY I get back from Spring Break.
Jai.
Yet when we packed up the car this morning, I had this feeling that we were embarking on a grand adventure. Don’t ask me why. I just know that I have prayed for some spiritual CPR and Krishna has granted me my wish.
I can feel it.
When we reach the temple, we whirl inside to take darshan of Radha Madan Mohan, and then jump right back into the car, minus the two boys. Aaaahhh… space. WOO-HOO! And with laughter and jokes, we zoom away in our delirium to Mother Jyothika’s house for lunch… the place where Maharaj will be staying.
We arrive in suburbia-loka and are ushered inside by grins and busyness. All through lunch my mind agonizes (rather unreasonably) about homework, and as Maharaj won’t be arriving for awhile, there should be time to squeeze in something. So I bust out my laptop and get to work.
“Maharaj will be here in ten minutes!” his secretary notifies Jyothika.
What??
“Ten minutes!” she says again.
I’ve just begun a 30-minute online quiz. Great.
So I’m frantically answering questions about chemical properties when in the quiet of the house I hear a door open.
“Haribol, Radhika,” a low voice says.
“Haribol Maharaj,” she replies.
I stay glued to the carpet, frozen. I should get up, greet him… but I only have ten minutes left to finish… just say hello!…
But his voice is already gone.
I finish my quiz with a frustrated sigh. I check my score – I failed miserably.
Right then, Rupa and Nama return from their errand. “Hey, Maharaj is here,” I say glumly.
“He IS?”
“Yeah, he went upstairs,”
“..And?”
I sigh. “Don’t ask.” We’ll see him tonight, don’t worry, I say to myself.
Still. I didn’t even say hello.
Kirtan!
March 28, 2007
“Everyone, please stand up,” Indradyumna Swami speaks into the mic. The initiation ceremony has come to a close.
Murmurs go around, “kirtan, kirtan” and I’m standing at the back but Maharaj catches my eye anyway. His eyes light up and he beckons me up to stand next to him, “Bhakti! Come sing,”
OOOOOOhhhh… my lord. I make my way up to stand next to Maharaj. Someone hands me a pair of kartals, and as I sing, the two disciples of Maharaj circumambulate the fire.
One day… one day.I pray, closing my eyes.
And then, the crowd moves toward the altar and Maharaj smiles and says, “Sundar Arati, please,”
So I sing. Maharaj sways in front of the Deities chanting. Thank you for empowering me, my dear shiksha guru, I muse. Halfway through, I untangle the microphone from the stand to dance with everyone else!
And then, the kirtan is coming to a grand crescendo with cries of “Gauranga!” and “Haribol!” When suddenly, Maharaj picks up his dear godbrother Sikhi Mahiti and grinning, begins to swing him ’round and ’round and ’round! Everyone goes wild, “HARRRIIIIIIBOOOOOOL!!!!”
My mind flashes with pictures of Indradyumna Swami swinging my own dear guru maharaj, Radhanath Swami, in the same way. I watch in total disbelief, and with a final note I call out, “Gaaaaura Premanandi…”
The voices of the devotees rise as they reply, “Hari Hariboooool…”
Indradyumna Swami ki…. jai.
