Dancing with Mother Mitravinda

I wrote this last night…

Mother Mitravinda passed away this morning. Gaura Shakti held bhajans at his house in honor for her this evening.

And as Jagi settled down to the harmonium to sing, he said, “So this was Mother Mitravinda’s favorite tune,” he paused and everyone went quiet. “I went to go visit her and I was singing this tune. Then she said softly, ‘It’s not fair,’ and I asked, ‘Why is it not fair, Mitravinda?’ and she replied, “It’s not fair because this is my favorite tune… and I want to dance but I can’t,’ She then bagan to weep,”

When Jagi sang the first mantra, chills ran down my spine. Everyone sang so deeply and so beautifully and my face shone with tears to remember Mother Mitravinda dancing. Her spirit moves me, even now as I write this.

I remember the very last time I danced with her – it was the Sunday Feast before she would go to the hospital to begin treatment. I was elated to still see her at the temple. At one point in the kirtan, we both raised our arms as we sang. And as we faced each other, the expression on Mother Mitravinda’s face took my breath away. Her intensity, her prayer to Radha Shyamasundar, hit me like a wave, enough to bring tears to my eyes… much the same tears I wept at bhajans tonight. And suddenly I knew – this is the last time I will ever dance with Mother Mitravinda.

And so it was.

Now I am realizing, though, that really she hasn’t stopped dancing. I know this sounds all poetic, but I believe that she dancing in the hearts of all the lives she has touched.

She’s dancing in mine.

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Tour of Alachua (1 of 5): Wednesday Bhajans

Wednesday bhajans. An ulterior motive that I had to enthusiastically propose to Bali that they be hosted at my house was… well… to clean the house. I mean, super-maha.

So we – Jivi, Shalagram, and me – did. I cringed, pinched my nose, and stifled screams a little more than I wanted to, but by the time cars started to line the road for a quarter mile come Wednesday night, our house was cozy, clean, and smelled of sweet incense and kitri.

I believe spiritual life is a bit like that. We all need each other to clean up our acts. And that way, the temple of our heart can be clean for Krishna to come… and maybe sing some bhajans with us.

Finally buying a new camera, I busted out.

You can also check out more photos of Alachua at:

Alachua pics

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Tour of Alachua (2 of 5): Visions of Kartik

This is one of those tests: match the word Kartik with the first word that comes to mind.

Pause for a moment and really think about it.

Got it? Now, let me guess your word: magical.

And even if it wasn’t your word, it’s MY word.

The following are some of my favorite pictures I’ve taken in the past couple days. Kartik is like a photography-fest, it’s such a beautiful time of year. Sri Sri Radha Damodar ki…. JAI!The kids in Alachua positively fall over each other to give achaman (purifying of the hands) and to give out these little ghee wick toothpicks to offer to Radha Shyamasundara.

an incandescent moment of a woman praying to Radhe-Shyam

The Deity Set-Up for Visvambhar’s birthday party. We sang bhajans for – literall – hours and topped it off with a gorgeous Damodarastakam led by Vish.

And goodnight unto you.

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In The Stillness

March 16th, 2006

The sun sillhouettes the moss in gold, and in the cooling day I make my way to the temple. Tents lay empty, powerlines and lights still strung about, a shell from the hundreds of people that milled about here only last night.

Now, not a soul stirs in the stillness. Except… a man sits on the edge of the verandah, quietly reading a soul-searching book. I smile to myself and enter the templeroom.

The Deities stand there in Their splendor, as if it’s another festival day. I pick up the harmonium and place it close to the altar – I settle down and begin to play.

No one is here, only the Deities, and I sing the bhajan over and over again, not even realizing that I’m going in a loop. So many times I’ve sung this song in the misery of living away from the devotees, always in some secluded place or along some abandoned road.

And here I am, a peace soothing my heart… alone.

But not alone.

ekaki amare nahi paya bala
“Without you [the vaishnava] I have no strength.”

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Bus Tour Glories

This Bus Tour blows my mind. There have been moments in the past two weeks when I wanted to capture every image, every emotion in my head – like a camera – to carry around with me always. I have been breathtaken by nature so many times that the song Mama mana mandire runs through me constantly. I take in royal blue lakes, crystal clear streams, mighty oceans, emerald green forests, thousand-year-old trees…

Ah, yes, the bhajans. Bhajans on the bus, bhajans in a cement corner while it’s raining (ON US), bhajans at a rest area, bhajans under the trees, bhajans around the campfire… I feel my passion for bhajans igniting once again like a powerful fire.

And of course, the people. The people ARE the Bus Tour. I find myself breaking out of my comfort zone and connecting with people I never thought I would. I feel inspired, uplifted, and also bittersweet, for this may be my last summer tour.

Time flows on. And on. And here is a meditation that I have been pondering all summer, “Time I am, the great destroyer of the worlds.” - Bhagavad Gita

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